Naked Guys In the Locker Room

THIS MORNING, FOLLOWING A WORKOUT AT MY GYM (a rather irregular act for me, but that’s for another posting), I went into the locker room to gather my things. Standing at a sink, a totally naked man was shaving.

Now, I suppose that sounds like a dog-bites-man lead, if there ever was one. A locker room is not such an unusual place to see a naked man shaving. But for some reason, whenever I see guys doing this sort of thing, I don’t know, it unsettles me. Let me explain. 

I realize that naked guys in locker rooms are rather like raisins in Raisinets; without them, locker rooms would have no identity or purpose. But I’m not talking about the vast majority of us guys who dry off and change clothes, exposing ourselves only briefly to our locker mates. Nothing wrong with that. Again, that’s what locker rooms are there for.

I’m talking about the guy who walks around with nothing on and is in no apparent hurry to get dressed. He carries on conversations in the buff, attends to himself and just, shall we say, hangs out. I’ve seen this not just in the gym I go to now, but in many such locker rooms over the years, and this type of guy seems to show up in all of them.

He doesn’t seem to be engaging in exhibitionism, and there’s nothing sexual about it. It’s more like he has a supreme sense of comfort and confidence. It is as if this is his zone of liberation, and he’s going to savor the privilege slowly and luxuriously as he would a glass of rare scotch.

I’m real happy for these guys and even a little jealous of how comfortable they are with themselves in this state (maybe I’m too up tight). But their comfort is just a bit too unselfconscious for my taste. It's off-putting.

Not only that, some of these guys really don’t freshen up the décor when they’re completely unclothed, if you know what I mean. They're not too easy on the eye. Many of them would help things a lot by just covering up.

Also, every once in a while I’ve actually known one of these guys and had to carry on a conversation with him. It’s pretty difficult, and distracting. You have to concentrate intensely on not losing eye contact, which is tougher than it sounds.

I'm not going to make a big deal out of this. This issue does not deserve to be treated as any more than a pet peeve. I will not crusade or pillory these guys for what amounts to a clash between my sensibilities and theirs.

But I don't know if I can take watching another one of these totally naked guys sitting on the locker room bench, with one leg up in the air so he can clip his toenails. Can't he do that at home?

Jeff

Comments

[Marc Gunther]

Ah, the Iraq war, election analysis and naked guys in the locker room. No one will accuse this blog of being predictable. :)

[Jeff]

Unpredictability: Weakness or a strength for a blog? Discuss.

[Beth Sperber Richie]

A clear strength. Why would I bother to keep reading if I knew what you were going to say? I have to admit, I didn't see this one coming!

[Peggy A]

I love unpredictability.
This post reminded me of a time, years ago, when I use to work out with a friend at the Y. We started getting uncomfortable in the showers because moms were bringing their sons into the women's locker room, and some of the boys were old enough to--how shall I put it?--appreciate the sight of a naked woman. We wondered if there was an age limit for boys in the girls room and considered making a complaint. One day we ran into the director and brought up the matter. She cut us off quickly with, "Oh, you're the ones!" Seems some moms had complained that two women were showering in the nude. That explained why the moms always wore their swimsuits in the shower, I guess. When they found out we worked for the local newspaper, they called there to tell our bosses on us. Probably would've told our moms, too, if that had been an option. I should point out: The Y was great about the whole thing.

[Jeff]

Thanks, Peggy. You bring up a good issue, one that I think is worthy of another posting altogether: the limits of disclosure to the media. What's "on the record," what's "for attribution," what's "for background," or "deep background." Seems they should have spelled that out on the walls of the showers at the Y.

[patrick]

I have had the same experience as you, Jeff. Traveling around the country on business has shown me that the naked old guys in the locker room is not a regional thing. What I have also seen is that at age 46, I am not one of the old guys, and not one of the young guys at the gym. I have realized that the older guys hanging out, they were having a better time. Forget the nudity, they had real friendships, they are confident in themselves, and not worried about being seen for exactly who they where. Old. Not perfect. A man.
My late father in law, a tough old sob, was just like these guys. His response to someone being uncomfortable would have been "what are you, a little girl?".

[Jeff Weintraub]

Thanks, Patrick.

[Melovefunnystuff]

I allways go around the locker room naked, it stupid how people think its stupid because we are all boys (hope so) and we all have the part so whats the problem?
the man next to you has one too,
so dont be shy